Dear Friends,
It’s break time! Today, I offer you some thoughts on God from my kids. I think we can all relate to these sentiments on some level….well, most of them anyway 🙂
These quotes come from my twin boys, when they were in the 3-6 age range. My daughter also contributes, from when she was maybe 3-8. I am going to use their top secret code names for this blog post: Dragonfist, Orcbane, and Desert Flower.
If you have some good God quotes from your kids, please email them or add them to the Comments! If I get enough of them, I might decide to post them in the next post (anonymized of course). No hurt feelings if I don’t use your quotes though!
Now, without further ado…
Where did Jesus go?
How sweet it is when your kids overestimate you:
On the resurrection:
Dragonfist: Did Jesus come back to life?
Dad: Yes
Dragonfist: How?
Dad: God used special power
Dragonfist: What kind of special power?
Dad: I don’t know
Dragonfist: Orcbane, do you know?
Dad: Orcbane, Dragonfist asked you a question.
Orcbane: What?
Dad: Dragonfist, ask Orcbane again
Dragonfist: What kind of special power?
Orcbane: Maybe a strong power
Dad: Hey that is a good guess
Dragonfist: We two don’t know, but Orcbane knows!
On the Second Coming:
Desert Flower: Dad I think Jesus will come back on Christmas because that’s his birthday so it will be more…dun-dun-dun. ..dramatic!
Dad: You mean when Jesus comes back? I don’t know. You want him to come back?
Dragonfist: Yes. If he doesn’t come back I’m going to be angry!
With great power comes great responsibility:
Dragonfist: Why did God make everything?
Dad: It made him feel happy. It made him feel good
On knowing when to quit:
Dad: Haha I am going to put that in my phone
Dragonfist: And then there was a batmonster and Batman was chasing him with his motorcycle. Daddy, Batman has a motorcycle. Put that in your phone. And Robin has a motorcycle. Put that in your phone too.
Thoughts on the afterlife:
How old is God?
Dad: The Greeks thought Paul was talking about a new God
Desert Flower: Jesus is not a new God, he was alive since the old times. Like since the 1960s
Don’t underestimate your children!
I told the boys about a passage in the Bible where it said a “horror of great darkness” fell on Abraham, and he had a vision of when the Israelites would be slaves in Egypt. God gave him a glimpse of the future.
Dragonfist: Why does it say “darkness”?
Dad: Uhhhhh
Orcbane: Maybe it’s a metaphor.
On Baptism:
Dad: When you get baptized it makes God happy.
Dragonfist: So when we take a bath it makes God happy!
The questions that sound silly, but get harder and harder the more you ponder them (note: I have attempted to address these questions elsewhere on my blog, but since today is supposed to be a light-hearted post, I’m not telling you where! Ha!)
Orcbane was calling out his brother’s name in the middle of the night. I went in to check on him. Orcbane asked me: Is God going to kill the mean pirates?
Another night, he came in to our room frightened.
Orcbane: Is God going to kill the evil lizard army?*
Dad: No
Orcbane: Then who is going to kill it?
*during playtime, we used to do Spiderman vs. the evil lizard army
This is why I love talking about grace
Dad: <after explaining the 10 commandments and saying if we obey them we’ll be happy> What happens if we don’t obey God’s rules?
Desert Flower: We’ll be sad?
Dad: Yes
Desert Flower: And we’ll go in the fire?
Dad: No that’s a different thing
Desert Flower: <wiping forehead> Whew!
On epistemology
Dad: Did you know that God gave Moses more laws than just the 10 commandments?
Desert Flower: Yes, I already got that message from my brain
Jesus in the wilderness:
Dad: What did Satan say to Jesus?
Desert Flower: If you do bad things, I will bring you buffalo…dead buffalo that is yummy to eat!
Is it really that bad?
Dad: Are you grateful Jesus saved you from the fire?
Desert Flower: Yes. And I don’t want to go to school.
What’s in a name?
Desert Flower: <requesting the David and Goliath story> I want July and Jacob!
Blessings in obedience
Dad: I have to get Desert Flower a new iTouch game because she was good in church
Desert Flower: Shoot ball hit cap monkey butt dig dog….I want that game!
So I got that going for me
Dad: Wow, God made an earthquake in the prison. Can Daddy make an earthquake?
Desert Flower: No but you can fight the bad guy and bite his leg.
Not sure what to do with this one
Desert Flower: Something’s tickling me. Jesus is tickling me!
On forgiveness
Dad: Baptism is for when you love Jesus and you want everybody to know. Do you think Dragonfist and Orcbane are ready to get baptized?
Desert Flower: No
Dad: Why not?
Desert Flower: Because they did bad things to me.
You really have to stay on top of what they’re watching
Man at Bible study: Jesus was talking about Adam and Eve
Desert Flower: Hey! Adam is He-man!
On charity….or the lack thereof!
Dad: Orcbane you should share your yogurt with Dragonfist, like in the Bible story where Jonathan shares his robe with David.
Orcbane: There’s no yogurt in that story.
Definitely don’t underestimate them!
Dad: The biggest thing I want for you is to love Jesus.
Desert Flower: Yes when I am big I will have the biggest flashlight.
Dad: What?
Desert Flower: It’s a metaphor <turns out she was referring to a previous conversation where I compared the Bible to a flashlight in a dark cave!>
Thou hast hid these things
Dragonfist: Where’s Jesus?
Dad: Hiding.
Dragonfist: Jesus is a good hider!
A jealous God (quick caveat for this one….I have told my kids numerous times they don’t HAVE to believe what I tell them about God and the Bible)
Dragonfist: Is it okay if I like Batman and God?
Dad: Yes as long as you like God the most.
Dragonfist: I like Batman but I like God the most
Orcbane: I like Green Lantern a little bit but I like God for 184 days I mean forever
And this last one is not theological, but it’s just for fun!
Dad: what are you talking about?
Desert Flower: the movie…The rescue of the loco heroes and the loco robots
Dad: What? is that a real movie?
Desert Flower: Yes…oh wait it is the movie i want to make when i grow up…we need lots of important stuff:
1. big big gray paper
2. glue
3. 4 puppets
4. 10 robots
5. green paper to cut for grass
6. big big rectangles this big
7. tan paper for the sidewalk…tan paper for the road to the castle
Dad: What else?
Desert Flower: i guess that’s it
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It’s been 5 years since I wrote this post, and I FINALLY have something to add!
Orcbane: Dad, does God have to follow any of Newton’s Laws?